About a year ago I decided to take a break from social media. I had a lightbulb moment and realized every time I scrolled through my facebook feed I would feel bad about myself and where my life was at. I think this actually quite a common occurrence. Many people I talk to say they second guess the state of their life when they see what others their age are doing.
After deleting all of my accounts I felt a relief. I wasn't comparing myself to the lives that others show off on their social media. I was now able to focus on what I felt needed to be worked on in my own lifestyle instead of using how other people lived as my standard. This allowed freedom when shaping how I chose to spend my days, who I wanted to be, and what I valued.
Just a reminder to everyone out there, be aware of what you say to others. You never know the possible button it may push or the influence your words may have on an individual.
This seems like a simple concept but I never fully absorbed it until recently. We really have to remember that we have no idea what others are going through. We cannot fathom the problems people may be suffering from or the demons they may be battling.
Our words, as you probably know, can be vicious weapons when used in a negative way. Do not call people a "drunk" because they may actually have a drinking problem and your label only fuels the fire. Whenever I hear this term being used I become personally offended because of my history. This is conclusive that something you say to a person may not only effect that person but the people who are around when these things are being verbalized.
This is only one example but I trust that you catch my drift. I do not write this to offend or shame people for what they may have said. I write this for awareness and as a reminder of the damage words can cause.
Remember always that everyone is fighting their own battle, whether they chose to talk about it or not. We need to be sensitive about this. Until we have walked in someone's shoes we have no right to label or judge them. We have to be careful about the language we use in general as well. There is always the possibility of someone overhearing the way you speak around certain subjects that others may be sensitive too.
I believe there is probably a word that everyone finds offense when they hear it used. Whether it has to do with your weight, ethnicity, religion, I'm sure there is something. Calling someone a "drunk" is my personal example. We all have our things.
I fully understand that I am ultra sensitive when it comes to this topic. Although I imagine there are others, like me, who feel the same. Basically what I'm wishing you take from this is that know your words matter. The tone, language, and labels that you use can seriously impact how a person feels about themselves. Chose words wisely, they may also effect how a person feels about you. I'm not telling everyone to filter themselves but be prepared for the consequences things you say may have.
"Never ever, ever underestimate the power your words can have........"
- John Goins
I have for so long been ashamed of the person I am and my "problems". Living like this is like walking on eggshells, trying not to offend anyone for simply being who you are. This is no way to live, that is unless you like living as a prisoner or if you love the feeling of hiding. For me however, I have learned I am not made to be contained in a jail cell built completely by myself.
When I was secretive about my issues and wouldn't let anyone in I was only making a bad situation worse. I did not realize the amount of support I was missing out on. Once I opened up through this blog and other ways I was flooded with so much positivity I barely knew what to do with myself. Everyone who reached out to me or said a kind word has largely impacted my recovery as well as kept me motivated to stay well.
I feel like pretending to be a certain way is so harmful to your core self. Whether it be dressing to "fit in" or sculpting your personality to a way you think will please others, it is all damaging to your authentic self.
As corny and cliche as it sounds we were all wired differently for a reason. Normal does not exist. Normal is a myth we put out there in order to alienate individuals that we may not fully understand. When we classify people as "weird" it puts our minds at ease knowing that these individuals we can't exactly comprehend are put into a proper category. These boxes are bullshit and only separate us from each other but that is an entirely different rant.
Freeing myself from hiding has been one of the best things I could have done. I have found, not surprisingly, that I am far happier than before. It has taken time but I can honestly say I am who I am 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no shame included (even if that person is someone who lives in sweatpants and hates washing her hair.) I am embracing this girl and am beginning to love her for who she is. I recommend everyone come out of hiding and do the same :) I'll be waiting!