I hate jeans. I don't hate many things, but I hate jeans. I don't know what it is about them, they just make me so uncomfortable and never seem to fit right. Needless to say this discomfort gets worse the more time I spend obsessing about my body. I haven't worn jeans in 9 months. Almost an entire year jean free.
Well I was jean free, until last night. Laying in bed almost ready to fall asleep I got a late night invitation to go out with a friend. I considered not going then decided, what the hell, why not go have a night out with my adventure buddy.
I didn't have much time to get myself ready so I dug through my closet quickly and grabbed a pair of jeans that I hadn't worn in, you guessed it, 9 months. Last time I wore these they were baggy on me and I had been told before that they didn't look the best because they seemed to be big. Expecting them to still fit the same way, I pulled them on. NOT THE CASE.
These jeans fit, they were maybe even a little tight. I immediately began with deep breaths. I am not used to things fitting. I have for so long avoided any kind of clothing that clings to or even touches my body. These jeans did both of those things. They hugged the curves I've gained over the past few months and showed off my body instead of hiding it behind baggy layers of fabric.
Still panicking but with no time to change, I left my apartment in those jeans. And guess what....... the world didn't end. None of my worst fears were realized. I was simply a normal girl wearing a normal pair of jeans.
This may seem like a trivial thing to most but to me this was a huge deal. I had avoided this article of clothing for nearly a year; last night I was able to face and conquer it. Seems crazy that a pair of pants can hold that much power but unfortunately they did have a lot of power over me.
I vow to keep wearing my jeans until they begin to lose that power. My life will not be run by a silly pair of pants. ;)