I have for so long been ashamed of the person I am and my "problems". Living like this is like walking on eggshells, trying not to offend anyone for simply being who you are. This is no way to live, that is unless you like living as a prisoner or if you love the feeling of hiding. For me however, I have learned I am not made to be contained in a jail cell built completely by myself.
When I was secretive about my issues and wouldn't let anyone in I was only making a bad situation worse. I did not realize the amount of support I was missing out on. Once I opened up through this blog and other ways I was flooded with so much positivity I barely knew what to do with myself. Everyone who reached out to me or said a kind word has largely impacted my recovery as well as kept me motivated to stay well.
I feel like pretending to be a certain way is so harmful to your core self. Whether it be dressing to "fit in" or sculpting your personality to a way you think will please others, it is all damaging to your authentic self.
As corny and cliche as it sounds we were all wired differently for a reason. Normal does not exist. Normal is a myth we put out there in order to alienate individuals that we may not fully understand. When we classify people as "weird" it puts our minds at ease knowing that these individuals we can't exactly comprehend are put into a proper category. These boxes are bullshit and only separate us from each other but that is an entirely different rant.
Freeing myself from hiding has been one of the best things I could have done. I have found, not surprisingly, that I am far happier than before. It has taken time but I can honestly say I am who I am 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no shame included (even if that person is someone who lives in sweatpants and hates washing her hair.) I am embracing this girl and am beginning to love her for who she is. I recommend everyone come out of hiding and do the same :) I'll be waiting!