Depression is defined as "a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living. More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness and you can't simply "snap out" of it. Depression may require long-term treatment. But don't get discouraged. Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychological counseling or both." (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/definition/con-20032977)
I have been dealing with depression for the bulk of my last 12 years and though my symptoms may vary from time to time, I can think of one word that basically describes it all; weighted.
It takes the largest effort to move your body in the slightest way because your body isn't your body, it is this foreign thing that seems to be filled with pounds upon pounds of sand which you are forced to drag around.
Your mind is also not your mind. For me, depression completely consumed all of my thoughts, leaving only hopelessness and worthlessness. My mind played tricks on me, it told me lies all the time. "you don't need people", "you're not good enough", "your life doesn't matter", were just a few of those falsehoods.
I am able to recognize these statements as untruthful now, but when in the wrath of depression I was fully encompassed in those beliefs. I truly thought that my life held no purpose, no meaning, and that if I was gone no one would even notice.
Back in college I choreographed this piece as a project for one of my classes. I was dealing with depressive thoughts and since it was the only thing on my mind I decided to draw inspiration from those feelings and create this dance. This is the best way I know how to show you what the illness of depression is like. Movement is the ultimate way to express what you are unable to say with words.
I've tried my best to keep this short and sweet and now I will just let the movement speak for itself.
If you feel like you are experiencing depression the best thing you can do is reach out and get yourself some support. Below is a great website to check out if you want to learn more and find resources for help.